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The Lowe-down

Just a few observations on last night’s pulsing Game 5 from Oakland, where apparently, obscene gestures include crossing your legs, stroking your fingers through your hair, and licking your chops…

After Derek Lowe struck out Terrence Long for the game’s final out, the champagne started flowing in the Boston clubhouse, while the tears started to drip in Oakland’s. Miguel (2 for 23) Tejada went into a profane tirade complaining about Lowe’s celebratory gestures after the game. To the naked eye, it appeared nothing different from any other time Lowe has celebrated coming off the mound. The A’s insist otherwise, according to the San Francisco Chronicle’s Jorge Ortiz.

Maybe Lowe can learn the BK flip to make things more obvious. And no, we’re not talking about the grilling methods to make the new Santa Fe Chicken Baguette.

Jeez, if it really is all about luck in the postseason, as Billy Beane protests, he’d better not make his way to Vegas anytime after Oct. 1. He would do very well there in July and August, I imagine. For a ninth straight game where they were able to clinch a playoff series, dating back to 1992, the A’s couldn’t get the job done in losing to the Red Sox, 4-3, and dropping the five-game ALDS series to the Red Sox, despite running out to a two-game lead. The Chronicle’s Ray Ratto says that this is the worst series loss yet, and after Billy Beane’s statement of, “Give me $50 million more, and we'll do it,” contends that nobody wants to hear about labor pains at a time like that.

Um, Bill, someone tried to already, and you turned them down, remember?

The next time I hear Thom Brennaman call a game is much too soon.

So, after Johnny Damon’s horrific collision with Damian Jackson in the seventh inning (sparking the memory of the time Ellis Burks and Mike Greenwell collided on the very same grass some 15 years ago) what exactly was Grady Little thinking putting Pedro in for the eighth? He was close to 100 pitches, and had been sitting around for close to half an hour while Damon was taken off the field in an ambulance, and the Sox batted in the top half of the inning. Martinez, obviously not as sharp, gave up back-to-back hits and Boston’s lead was down to one. With a two-run lead, all of New England’s collective stomachs aren’t located somewhere around their cerebrum when Williamson walks to the mound.

Does FOX25 have a news program at 10 p.m.? I’m not sure.

They don't give an MVP in the ALDS, but in my mind, even though he was 0-1, it should have gone to Derek Lowe. With the series, and the season on the line, he delivered the final blow and helped the Sox advance.

The Oakland Tribune tells us more about the fans that were ejected last night after telling Jackson that it was “his fault” that Damon was taken away on a stretcher. Meanwhile, in Boston, thousands of yahoos caused havoc in the Fenway region, flipping over a car, as things got out of hand. Not good. Listen idiots, this is the ALDS. The Sox haven’t won a thing yet. God forbid they ever win the World Series because it’s morons like these who are going to force the city to call in the National Guard to be on alert. Seriously. It’s absolutely pathetic.

And who was the tool on national TV last night at Jillian’s who was talking on her cell phone every time the camera went on her? Good grief.

The saving grace for watching the postseason on FOX is being able to see the commercial for that new Eliza Dushku show over, and over, and over again.

Reader Frank Solensky writes in and points out: “Here's an interesting factoid: you've no doubt heard the theory that if the Sox and Cubs ever met in the World Series a meteor would have to hit the earth before one team could win. An asteroid came within 55,000 miles of the earth last week, high and outside.”

Yikes!

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