Ten places I’d rather be on Opening Day
1. Luxuriating in a posh reading room at the
2. Zipping over to the Coolidge Corner Theatre for the Boston theatrical premiere of Robin Hessman’s award-winning documentary, “My Perestroika.’’
3. I’d even rather see the dreary rehash of the wonderful 1981 Dudley Moore classic “Arthur.’’ Opening tomorrow at cinemas everywhere, closing soon after.
4. Celebrating Tom DeLay’s birthday, in my own special way: By donating to NPR, just to tick him off.
5. The Friday matinee at Symphony Hall. I am THERE, with the blue-haired ladies. The BSO doesn’t frighten this audience with rubbishy modern music. Tomorrow it’s Mozart, Mozart, and Haydn. All hail the 18th century! Beware of Fenway-relayed parking hassles, though.
6. Non-baseball Sports Option No. 1: Head for Ron’s Ice Cream and 20th Century Bowling in Hyde Park. Delicious ice cream and candlepins. Yes, those are the ones that are hard to knock down.
7. Non-baseball Sports Option No. 2: Get your rowing shell on the river before the college crews start churning the water like a flotilla of rogue triremes. Community Rowing might help you out. My club is far too exclusive.
8. Lighting a candle on Soldiers Field Road to celebrate the 103d birthday of the Harvard Business School (HBS), home to Moammar Khadafy’s favorite image consultants. Maybe you can wave a placard: “Without the H, it’s all BS.’’ Maybe not.
9. Hungry? Chef Brian Poe is serving Jalapeño & Cashew Cracker Jack for $5 at the Rattlesnake Bar and Grill in the Back Bay. Pepto-Bismol not included.
10. In my basement watching “Justified’’ the best show on TV.
June Wulff of the Globe staff contributed to this story. Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is email@example.com.