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Hold the roses, please

Posted by Rachel Kossman  February 8, 2012 07:47 AM

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I'm a total Grinch when it comes to Hallmark holidays like Halloween and Valentines Day. No, this doesn't have to do with my new single status (okay, maybe a little bit) -- I've long hated the holiday that forces men to buy flowers and chocolates for the woman they're dating just because American candy companies tell them to. To all future suitors: buy me flowers on a random Wednesday, that has much more meaning, I promise.

I digress. As cranky as me now that February 14th (aka Singles Awareness Day) is fast approaching? Don't necessarily want to stay in on the couch with take out and your DVR? Here are some anti, and alternative, Valentines day and weekend events you can check out instead.

lovestinksposter.jpgLuv Sux
At least according to Boston's dueling piano bar, Howl at the Moon. Their anti-Valentines Day party will feature "x-boyfriend" cocktails and 86 ounce "bad romance" buckets, plus games, contests and t-shirt giveaways. Want to get in for free? Just bring a mutilated picture of your ex. Now that, my friends, is truly anti-V day.

Mortified: Doomed Valentines Day
If you're Mortified of being single on this love-struck day, come listen to the worst, most entertaining, doomed love stories on the stage of the Coolidge Corner Theatre on Monday, February 13th. Folks will be taking the mike to share embarrassing (and hilarious) diary entries, lyrics, poems, and artwork from their teenage years. No, I'm not kidding. "One by one, brave men and women will take the stage to relive their tortured adolescence with cringe-worthy material about juvenile ardor gone wrong: from unrequited high-school crushes and tumultuous off-and-on romances to bad prom dates and awkward sexual firsts. Oh the pain!" reads the event description. Hailed for years as a fabulous anti-cupid event, the show has sold out in years past so snag your tickets, $15 each, ASAP.

Geeks who Drink Trivia
Fenway's Sweet Carolines will be hosting a Valentines Day edition of their weekly Geeks who Drink event -- a trivia night to benefit the American Heart Association -- and Absolut samplings, starting at 6 PM. Entry is $5 and the winning trivia team will take home a cash prize.

cupidshot.jpgPub Crawls
What better way to forget about being single than to drink your way across through downtown Boston? Dirty Water News is hosting a Love Stinks pub crawl on the day of doom - tickets are $15 and include a t-shirt and drinking cup. McFaddens, Kitty O'Sheas and Jose McIntyre's are all on the destination list.

CrawlinBoston is hosting a Valentine's Crawl on Saturday, February 11th. 16 bars will be opening their doors from 12:30 to 8 PM. There's no registration fee, just a $5 suggested donation to benefit the Hattie B. Cooper Community Center and a request for a simple Facebook RSVP. Each timeslot (12:30, 2:30, 4:30 & 6:30) will have 4 bar options in the Faneuil area with drink specials. For the morning after, head to Social Sunday brunch at the New Brahmin, offering $3 screwdrivers to cure your hangovers.

Love still sucks
Mass Ave Tavern is hosting Love Sucks -- any event with the tagline "no hearts, no flowers, no love songs" is a winner in my book. Cheap Miller High Lifes and American bar food. What could be better?

Red, yellow, or green?
If you're single & ready to mingle, the Socialete sponsored "Traffic Jam" party on Friday, February 10th lets attendees don red (taken), yellow (maybe?), or green (single) beads to indiciate their status to other party-goers. Tickets are $40, but include access to the Crawl in Boston pub crawl (above) and a free ride to Felt thanks to Uber Boston.

Flirt Fest
The Boston Event Guide is hosting their annual Flirt Fest at Bell in Hand on Tuesday night, starting at 7 PM. Tickets are $15 or 2 for $20 if you RSVP before Feb. 10. They'll have hors d'oeuvres from 7 til 9 and a best & worst pick up line contest, which at the very least is sure to be entertaining.

Despite my Grinchy attitude, I'll be in the North End for dinner with a group of girlfriends and more than likely dragging my old roommate to see The Vow (hey, Channing Tatum is hot, alright?)

Single? What are your valentines day plans?

This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.

About the author

Rachel Kossman is a California girl and New England transplant who graduated from Northeastern University in 2011. She has a penchant for discovering new restaurants and bars, devouring Mexican food, More »

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