Dude Crushes Beer Mile in Record Time

Move over, Roger Bannister. Bannister ran the first sub-4-minute mile in 1954, but another man may have just done something even greater.

James Nielsen recorded video of himself running what he says is the first sub-5-minute beer mile ever run. What is a beer mile, you ask? I was introduced to the phenomenon while attending an undisclosed NESCAC school in a mill town in Maine. The basic premise is that you run a mile (four laps) around a track, chugging a beer before each lap. Runners are slowed by the time it takes to drink the beer, the alcohol sloshing around as he or she moves, and the inevitable inebriation that comes quickly. Nielsen’s mile is below:

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By name, a beer miles seems like a pasttime for fat guys, but I’ve never seen anyone run one who looked over 170 pounds. Folks take their beer miles seriously. In the video, Nielsen explains how in addition to track workouts he spent time training himself how to open and chug those four Bud Heavys as quickly as possible. As for the record? There’s an actual site called BeerMile.com that breaks down beer mile records in both official and unofficial times, by beer, age, and the like. Nielsen’s record is not official, but anyone who’s ever spent the worst six minutes of their lives on a treadmill trying to go as fast as possible knows this is damn impressive.