See, here I thought Jesus recently announced his return in the morning dew on the driver's side window of an Isuzu pickup truck in Jonesborough, Tenn. Turns out, it was actually in the form of Ted Ginn Jr.
Miami Dolphins offensive coordinator Dan Henning – also former Boston College overseer of all place bets – compared the underperforming wide receiver to a higher power after returning two kickoffs for touchdowns last week against the Jets. He also said there was no better human story last week. Hey, who can argue?
From the Miami Sun-Sentinel:
"Wasn’t that marvelous. Wasn’t that marvelous?," Henning said. "You know, in the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers and garlands at the Good Lord and then on Friday, they picked him up, beat the s--- out of him, crucified him, and in this league they give us seven days – only gave him five.
"So we go back three or four weeks ago and Teddy was a hero after the first Jet game, he was a goat after New Orleans and now he’s a hero again. I can’t wait to see the next chapter of this and who decides that….
"We’re going to try and see if we can get him to be a killer of other teams, as he was against Buffalo last year, like he was against Seattle last year. … If we go back in time we’re going to find all those things but we only want to focus on what happened on Good Friday, not what happened on Palm Sunday …
"To me, there can be no better human story than what happened last week around here and what Teddy was able to come up with. You can take anything that happened in that game, that was the best feeling for me to see him come out of that. He had to be lower than whale defecation, and that’s at the bottom of the ocean. You know what I mean? For him to be able to come out and do that, it’s a great story."
Take that, billions of other people. Ted Ginn Jr. is the greatest human alive. Bow to him on Sunday, will you?