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Gunning for a pennant

Posted by Charles P. Pierce  March 28, 2011 04:12 PM

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There was an interesting story to wake up to this morning. It is probably no surprise that, if you happen to be a competent burglar, and are lucky enough to hit a famous athlete's crib (as the kidz say), well, that will be a good day of work for you. In fact, and in keeping with our continuing Final Four motif, a burglar can also do pretty well popping in on an apartment shared by athletes who allegedly are not compensated so well, much to the surprise of their head coach, who can't seem to keep circumstances from conspiring against his good works.

In any case, is it untoward to ask what in the name of Mikhail Kalashnikov Evan Longoria is doing with an AK-47? Hunting? What, is he going out in search of the elusive Armored Personnel Carrier? Self-defense? Who's going to mug him? The Republican Guard? Time was that there was a lot of earnest beard-pulling about how ambivalent we should be about our athletes's going out at night while strapped. Every time an NBA player exercises his Second Amendment rights into the air, while exercising his First Amendment rights of free association outside a strip club, it's a perilous moment for our culture. But one of the signature players in baseball has lodged in his place enough firepower to hold off the Zombie Army, and everyone takes an even strain? Oh, and one correction to the deputy's report -- Longoria's AK is no longer "perfectly legal." It is now an illegal weapon, and it is in the hands of a criminal.
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