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The Gasbag Gang

Posted by Charles P. Pierce  August 27, 2010 12:39 PM

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TonyLaRussa lost me a decade and a half ago when he started doing his postgame pressers wearing that ballet school T-shirt. (And I never was too impressed with his law degree, either. Tell the truth. You're facing a trumped-up capital murder charge. Is your one phone call to a guy who couldn't figure out how to pitch to Mark Bellhorn?) For too many years, his sycophants made him out to be what passes in baseball for an intellectual -- which, I will grant you, is setting the bar at shoelace level.

Well, Too Smart For The Game Tony is lending his name and his presence to a towering and massive exercise in shameful public ignorance tomorrow in DC. (Albert Pujols? Do yourself a favor and pull an hammy on the way to the Mall, OK? You, I like.) LaRussa is going out of his way to celebrate a demented television creature who combines the intellectual firepower of L. Ron Hubbard with the sincerity of Ted Haggard and the civic conscience of the Ebola virus. If Bud Selig truly cared about the integrity of the game, he'dbe as worried about its high-profile personalities dancing around at this Lord Of The Flies whangdoodle as he is about their hanging out in strip clubs.

I hope that the Cardinals play the White Sox on Opening Day next season so Too Smart Tony can explain to the president's face why he decided to party with a guy who's said that the president hates white people. Dunce.


UPDATE -- Not satisfied with having invented Interleague Opening Day -- and why not, anyway? -- I've had an even better idea. I hope the Cardinals win it all this year. Seriously, I hope the Reds collapse, and the Cardinals go smoking by, say, Padres and Braves and Yankees to win the World Series. (Of course, given LaRussa's track record in such things, this may require the Cardinal medical staff to anesthetize him for the duration of the Fall Classic so he doesn't screw it up.) Then, I hope they all go to the White House for the customary photo op and, at the press availability, I hope the president gets to ask Too Smart Tony on live TV whether or not he thinks the president hates white people.

That'd be more fun, actually.

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