That was one of the printable reactions Patriots fans had when Wes Welker left town.
Now, thanks to Welker, we have some insight on how one can get Tom Brady to really run like hell.
It has something to do with rats. No, we're not talking threats from Whitey Bulger to cover the spread and hit the over in week one against Buffalo.
The rodent-inspired motivation to move Brady was outlined in this week's Sports Illustrated piece on Wes Welker [you'll have to pay to read it just like I did].
After the much balleyhooed part about Welker's emotional dependency on Bill Belichick's approval, Chris Ballard's story offers a look at Welker's prank-filled side. When you come visit his house in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., you'd better be careful if his wife Anna asks you to grab something from the top shelf in the kitchen cabinet.
There, Welker hides a life-like-looking, large plastic rat, tied to the inside of the cabinet, ready to scare the hell out of anyone who opens its door.
It worked wonders on his former Patriots' teammates.
Apparently Rob Gronkowski's reaction was so hysterical and violent he had to apologize for his outburst.
But it was Brady, the story says, who reacted the worst/best.
"He just high-stepped it, just flew out the door," Welker told Ballard, "Fastest I ever saw him run."
"America's Alpha Dog" terrified of rodents.
There's no room for rats at One Patriot Place or Gillette Stadium. [As opposed to the old Boston Garden or certain alleys near Fenway Park.] Loyalty is one of those intangible values that seem to be attached to football. Given the team nature of the sport, it's not surprising. Loyalty is a very big deal in Foxborough - at least in one direction.
And it's not just the Kraft family or Belichick who demand it, even Adam Vinatieri was booed by the spurned masses.
The biggest Patriots news story on the week leading up to their first preseason game had to do with their former No. 1 go-to guy. This week's revelations about the imposing will of Belichick on Welker and the other players on the team is hardly a shock. But the fact that Welker spoke out about it, or in his case, admitted it, was shocking. Speaking out against the family, even after leaving the Patriots, is risky.
Perhaps the biggest rat in Patriots history, Eric Mangini, barely lived to tell about his disloyalty to Belichick given the multiple death stares he's received from Lord Vader over the years. The first time they shook hands after Mangini took over the Jets, Belichick looked like Paulie after Henry Hill pointed him out in court.
Mangini eventually voiced regret for his role in leaking the "SpyGate" affair because it alienated him from Belichick.
Welker has definitely not gotten over whatever slights, real or imagined, Belichick leveled at him.
He's in Denver now, but a large part of his heart and mind remains in New England.
Today's truism: "You can leave Boston, but Boston never leaves you."
Welker has learned that after just a few months away from his NFL home for six years.
In case you missed the full SI story, we also learned that Welker makes a mean egg sandwich and he and his wife "probably made a baby" during their recent trip to Belize.
The Patriots give birth to the preseason tonight against the Eagles. Welker will be gone but most definitely not forgotten, at least among folks watching tonight's game in their faded No. 83 jerseys.
Meanwhile, those No. 81 Patriots jerseys that haven't been shredded are either for sale on eBay or hanging in Roger Goodell's closet next to Ray Lewis' No. 52, Rae Carruth's No. 84, Javon Belcher's No. 59 and Josh Brent's No. 92.
The Patriots have weathered their offseason from "Heaven and Hell" and the alleged uncertainly surrounding the offense has generated more questions and as much interest than in year's past.
There's a legion of new receivers scurrying around like mice who will be trying to earn Brady's loyalty this season. Brady and Welker's on-field bond was unshakable. Welker was his go-to guy. This season, nothing is guaranteed with this corps of receivers. Despite his little scrap on Tuesday, the legendary Aaron Dobson has inspired breathless reports from both training camp and the scrimmages the Patriots and Eagles held this week.
That's been about it for highs and lows. Barring injury, tonight's exhibition will offer glimpses of what might be but no real idea of what will be.
NFL preseason games are much like internet fame or rookie receivers: Good for about 15 minutes before eventually becoming uncomfortable to watch and a little stale.
So tune in early, and watch out for those nasty rats.
They can be anywhere.
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