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NFL Power Rankings Week 13: Jets provide plenty of laughs for Patriots

Posted by Obnoxious Boston Fan  November 30, 2012 08:06 PM

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(Viewer Caution - Videos contains a naughty word you heard your father say several thousands times during this past Red Sox season, some irate fans and the most pathetic team in football)

It's time for the last of the leftover turkeys. The Patriots have all but won the AFC East. Sunday's game against the Dolphins might have been a trap game earlier this season, but the Patriots are running as efficiently now as they have any time since 2007. So let's take a brief look at what the Patriots left in their wake last week.

Here's the same half-time debacle during the Jets Thanksgiving game from a slightly different angle - with even more zingers:

Among the printable gems:

"You are pathetic. Every one of you."

"You guys are a disgrace!"

"You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"Tebow, save us!"

"Sanchez! You suck!"

"Might as well take off the second half too!"

"Garbage! Garbage! Garbage!"

"Sparano you're fired!"

"Nick Folk you're my hero."

And there's more. It wasn't just at the stadium. Check this clip that someone posted of their dad. This guy should take over for the late Fireman Ed. "I think he's a little ticked," his son says. You think?

Bart Scott said the Gang Green Faithful who ripping the Jets as walked off the field at halftime of their Thanksgiving beatdown by the Patriots at MetLife Stadium were probably "picked last in dodgeball through high school" and because of that he doesn't care about their opinion.


All this and the end of Fireman Ed.

It doesn't get any better than this.

The same week the Patriots saw another player suspended for PED usage - Adderall anyone? - the Jets continued to implode in the wake of their Thanksgiving collapse. Drug suspensions are nothing when your self-proclaimed "super fan" bails after a 30-point loss. The Patriots might be the 2012 NFL answer to the 1986 Mets. But like those Mets, these Patriots could very well end their clouded season with a championship. Meanwhile, we'll take this week's Football Power Rankings space to celebrate the demise of the Jets because: 1. We can. 2. They are the Jets. 3. All of the above.

The fans who railed against the Jets on field level were sitting in the Coaches Club section, according to the New York Daily News, seats that cost $700 per game and come with PSLs that start at $20,000. Was Scott surprised it was the fans in the most expensive seats in the house who ripped into his team? “No,” he told the newspaper. “Those are the ones who feel more entitled. I would love to go to his job and see what he does and sit in his ear and talk stuff.”

Meanwhile, it took Fireman Ed 37 years to realize New York Jets fans aren't worth it.

Slow learner.

Fireman Ed's public demise just coincidentally came in the wake of Thanksgiving's 49-19 destruction of his beloved franchise. Think he was back at MetLife Stadium wearing an Eli Manning jersey during Sunday night's Giants victory over Green Bay.

Ed's excuse - that he he bailed on the Jets publicly because of too many "confrontations" with fellow fans over his Mark Sanchez jersey - sounds about as valid as "the You Tube video did it."

Speaking of You Tube videos - I'd say this clip probably had a bit more to due with Ed's public exit and his fellow obnoxious New Jersey fans:

Ed penned his public obituary in Metro New York by writing: "Whether it's in the stands, the bathroom or the parking lot, these confrontations are happening on a consistent basis, Although I can 'hold my own,' I do not want to lose my temper and make a stupid mistake. I have a responsibility to the families and kids that enjoy the game and Fireman Ed."

Lucky for the world, Fireman Ed will still go to Jets games, but he'll just be plain old Ed Anzalone. Gotta love a guy who cowards out on the world but reassures us that he can "hold his own."

Ed isn't the only one bailing on the Jets these days. By the time Lenny Kravitz took the stage at halftime on Thanksgiving it looked like the only people left in the stands were either sticking around to curse out their team or waiting to file paternity suits against Antonio Cromartie. Lenny's performance was reminiscent of the band playing on the Titanic. Funnier still were the "Belicheat" tweets that Jets fans and sports writers were peppering the internet with as the Patriots gleefully ran up the score. Every time the Patriots pummel the Jets, the subject of "Spygate" comes up. That Thanksgiving night also marked the first time Rex Ryan ever begged to have someone take their foot off his throat.

The Jets are a true obscenity in the fact that they are "utterly without redeeming social value" at this point. They are not a good team on the field, off the field, in the front office, in the stands and even in the media. This isn't just another anti-New York rant. The Yankees and Giants have - to varying degrees - tormented us for generations and both have won championships since man walked on the the moon. The Jets won their Super Bowl six months before Neil Armstrong took his "great leap for mankind." They knocked the Patriots out of the playoffs two years ago and have been in freefall ever since. And they're not just a bad team. They're a bad team - with poor ownership, a sorry history, endless hype and fickle fans - that never seems to go away.

Don't take my word for it:

And at least I wasn't driving while I wrote this.

The Jets have become more Red Sox than the Red Sox. Speaking of the Sox, hope you were able get through the virtual waiting room Saturday and get some of those coveted April tickets against the Houston Astros.

The Red Sox had their worst finish in my lifetime in 2012 but still posted their 404,034,857th consecutive sellout. Fan interest hit maniacal levels as things fell apart. Those who bailed did so out of disgust over too much double-fisting in the clubhouse, Josh Beckett's work ethic or the contemptible disrespect initially shown toward Johnny Pesky. As much as the Red Sox would love to have their own version of "Fireman Ed" - perhaps "Policeman Patrick" - there isn't a pink-hatted Red Sox fan Massholish enough to take on that role because he or she knows they wouldn't last into the third inning. "Ed" was beloved at Shea/Giants/MetLife Stadium for parts of five decades because he was just a regular fan in a fire helmet who just got carried away and could spell a simple four-letter word. Plenty of fans can spell four-letter words. Who knew that he was a role models to millions of children? If he wanted to let people know what he thought, all he had to do was start his own blog. Any idiot can do that.

The Jets even managed to screw up the only decent story they had this year in mismanaging Tim Tebow before word got out that Tebow had two broken ribs. He used a third rib to make Eve. Tebow was called "terrible" by his teammates after throwing all of seven passes this season. Last time we checked, he won eight games last season before leading the Broncos to a playoff victory in overtime against Pittsburgh. That will be one more playoff victory than the Jets will have in the entire calendar years of 2012 and 2013 (remember the 2013 NFL playoffs don't start until January of 2014).

Coincidentally, Super Bowl XLVIII will be played at MetLife Stadium on Feb. 2, 2014. Something tells us the Jets will need a ticket to watch that one in person.

Time for this week's rankings. Teams are listed with their records and rankings from two weeks ago. We took a holiday bye.

1. Texans (10-1; 1): Matt Schaub said Ndamukong Suh is not "Houston Texan worthy" after the Lions defensive tackle planted his foot in Schaub's groin. But he did it in a really high-pitched voice.

2. Falcons (11-1; 2): Georgia could be home of the BCS and Super Bowl champ this year. Peachy.

3. 49ers: (8-2-1; 3): Don't say anything bad about Colin Kaepernick's tats or you might be called a "racist" - even if you've adopted two African-American girls.

4. Ravens (9-2; 5): Ray Rice had a better week than Susan Rice.

5. Patriots (8-3; 6): The last time the Patriots were shut out was during a Deqcember game in Miami. Just sayin'.

6. Bears (8-3; 4): Brandon Marshall says some NFL players use Viagra to gain an edge - but only on third-and-short.

7, Broncos (8-3; 9): Thirty-eight-year-old Peyton Manning met 14-year-old Peyton Manning Friday and gave us just another reason to love Twitter.

8. Giants (7-4; 10): Defensive end Justin Tuck says he'd paid to see a race between RGIII and a "young (Michael) Vick" to determine who's the fastest QB he's ever faced. Eli Manning is weighed down by all those Super Bowl rings.

9. Colts (7-4; 11): Cheerleaders @ColtsCheerMegan and @Crystal_Anne_B got her heads shaved during Sunday's game after helping to raise more than $22,000 to fight cancer. Bald is beautiful.

10. Packers (7-4; 7): Green Bay can't beat the Giants, either.

11. Steelers (6-5; 8): It will be up to Charlie Batch to keep the Steelers in the playoff hunt this week against the Ravens.

12. Vikings (6-5; 12): Adrian Peterson overslept and missed the team's bus to Soldier Field in Chicago on Sunday. He would have been better off staying at the team hotel.

13. Buccaneers (6-5; 14): Eric Wright was suspended for four games after violating the NFL performance-enhancing drug policy and, naturally, blamed Adderall. Sometimes you long for the good old days of unrestricted steroids, cocaine use and alcohol in the lockerroom.

14. Bengals (6-5; 19): Start paying attention to these cats. Could be a wildcard team and potential first-round playoff opponent against New England.

15. Seahawks (6-5; 13): Richard Sherman continues to deny that he took Adderall but just can't seem to calm down and focus. Meanwhile, Earl Thomas was fined $15,000 for a hit on Miami QB Ryan Tannehill last week after he body-slammed him upside the head and took to Twitter to complain:

16. Lions (4-7; 15): Defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham ripped Schaub for his remarks about Suh, saying "you never make derogatory statements about another player and another team" in public. Kicking the other team's QB in his junk is just fine.

17. Cowboys (5-6; 18): Every week the Cowboys seem to be on the verge of self-destruction. Eventually, Tony Romo will finish the job.

18. Dolphins (5-6; 24): Look for the sprinklers to come on whenever the Patriots are in the red-zone.

19. Chargers (4-7; 17): Twinkies. cockroaches and Norv Turner. One down, two to go.

20. Redskins (5-6; 27): Monday night game against the Giants could be worth watching.

21. Saints (5-7; 23): Drew Brees threw five interceptions in the season's swan-song loss to the Falcons Thursday. What else did you expect during the season that brought up the fallout from "Bountygate" and this:

22. Cardinals (4-7; 16): Pretty soon, they'll be down to Jim Hart at QB.

23. Rams (4-6-1; 21): Tie will be the only thing memorable about this season.

24. Bills (4-7; 22): Steve Johnson wants coach Chan Gailey to relinquish more of the play-calling duties to Ryan Fitzpatrick. Bills fans want Ryan Fitzpatrick to relinquish his QB duties to someone who can run an offense.

25. Titans (4-7; 20): The Titans are on pace to allow 500 points this year, and that's before they face the Texans again on Sunday.

26. Jets (4-7; 25): See above.

27. Eagles (3-8; 26): Vick may or may not have a concussion and may or may not be questioning whether or not the Eagles want him around next season. Still not the most screwed-up green-clad team in football.

28. Raiders (3-8; 28): Things are so bad in Oakland Rolando McClain got booted from practice and subsequently suspended for arguing with coach Dennis Allen in an effort, some say, to get released by the team. No suspending him would be even worse punishment.

29. Panthers (3-8; 29): Bill Belichick would not know how to handle this one: Panthers are a mind-boggling 0-for-12 this year when it comes to coin tosses this season. They've asked their fans in a Facebook poll what to call this week. Heads was winning big as of Saturday morning.

30. Browns (3-8; 30): Speaking of Dirty Dozens, the Browns have lost their past 12 straight road games in a streak that might end before it hits 13 since they're playing at Oakland this week.

31. Jaguars (2-9; 32): Justin Babin went from bad to worse after being picked up by the Jaguars off waivers after his release from Philly. At least he doesn't have to pay a state income tax in Florida.

32. Chiefs (1-10; 31): We end with a tragic day in Kansas City and across the NFL. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all involved, their families and the Chiefs organization. God bless.

As always, let us know what you think. Join our in-game Patriots-Dolphins fan chat on Sunday at 1 p.m. and bring your own Adderall. Post your thoughts here, on our Obnoxious Boston Fan Facebook page or e-mail me obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter @realOBF.

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Obnoxious Boston Fan offers a fun, unique and biting perspective on the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, Patriots and whatever else people are talking about in the world of sports. We More »
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