Tom Brady doesn't have a statue, unless you count this.
Bill Belichick doesn't have a statue, unless you count these.
Rex Ryan doesn't have a statue, although they have warning posters with his face outside the DSW in Mahnattan.
Mark Sanchez doesn't have a statue, but he does have an arrest record and went on a Broadway double date this week with girlfriend Eva Longoria, former New York Jet Scotty McKnight and actress Hayden Panettiere.
Tim Tebow has a statue - and it's a beaut.
Meanwhile, the New England Patriots are falling like a rock in our Power Rankings, down four spots to No. 10 this week. More on that in a bit.
The life-sized, roughly 1,800-pound Tebow stands outside Florida Field here, and naturally, he's running the ball. Or running as well as one can when they are anchored to a giant block of granite and made of bronze. He stands next to the other Heisman Trophy winners at the University of Florida - current South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier - who's about to unload a pass - and Danny Wuerffel, who appears to be looking for an open receiver somewhere outside the O'Connell Center. Not surprisingly, Tebow draws the most interest when it comes to picture-takers, fans and would-be-worshipers.
"Thou shalt have no other Gods before me." Of course, the Third Commandment usually doesn't apply to SEC football fans on Saturdays (especially the 90,000 expected to show up for this week's game between the Gators and 'Cocks), or Patriots' fans whenever Brady is trying to rally the offense.
Tebow forever strikes a perfect pose heading into Sunday's game against the Patriots since the buzz is that the Jets might use him as a running back against the Patriots. Tebow has not done much for the Jets this season (2-for-3 throwing the ball with 32 yards passing and 64 yards rushing on 18 carries) - then again, neither has Sanchez. Longoria's lesser-half threw for 82 yards (connecting on 11 of 18 pass attempts) in last week's rout of Indianapolis and actually raised his overall QB rating to 70.9. And yet, the Jets come into Foxborough tied with the Pats and everyone else in the AFC East at 3-3. Now if there's any NFL secondary that could make Sanchez look like a legit passer - it will be wearing 1985-throwback red Sunday. Forget Russell Wilson's fourth-quarter aerial assault last week in Seattle, remember last season with the legendary Dan Orlovsky lit up Kyle Arrington, Devin McCourty and friends to the tune of 353 yards passing and two touchdowns?
"Mark Sanchez 2012 Redemption Tour" could well start late Sunday afternoon if our worse fears are realized. If that happens, the lines at the Tobin and Sagamore bridges will be 10-deep until dawn. The key for any quarterback to beat the Patriots this season has become throw deep and often. If Sanchez is able to get the ball downfield 15 or 20 yards inbounds, he'll have a shot against this bunch. For Sanchez, getting the ball downfield 15 or 20 yards inbounds is an immense challenge - during practice, games and even on Madden 2013.
There was lots of talk this week, here and elsewhere, about Brady's inability to extract the Patriots from Seattle last week after building a 13-point lead in the fourth quarter. The criticism was self-evident, but hardly the answer or the entire problem. As often noted, one Brady shortcoming is equal to about 15 miscues on the defensive side of the ball when it comes to frequency and impact.
Tebow, Sanchez, Ryan and the rest of the Gangreen Circus always present a reason to salivate. What better way would there be to cap off a week that saw the Yankees actually demonstrate less heart than the Red Sox than with a nice beatdown of the Jets? The 2012 Yankees proved to be the 2011 Red Sox - minus the Bud Light and Popeye's. I'm almost half-expecting to read in the New York Post in a few days about Nick Swisher sneaking out Yankee Stadium in-between innings to grab a Wendy's Triple and some Miller Lite before serving as A-Rod's wingman.
To use Tebow at running back or not use Tebow at running back? What would Jesus do? (I hope Father Constantine doesn't deny me communion in chruch next week for that line). The Jets offense is about as creative as the people who brought us "Paranormal Activity 4." And speaking of Moe Greene and the Corleones, how is "Godfather III" overkill but "Paranormal Activity 4" somehow a cinematic must. The Jets offense is limited by both the skills of the quarterback and the imagination of offensive coordinator Tony Soprano, who would feel right at home with Moe Greene, Hyman Roth and the Corleones.
Wait, it's Sparano? Never mind.
Tebow, and Sanchez for that matter, might be better off with Pauly Walnuts running the show. At least he might try the "run and shoot" once in a while.
Patriots-Jets rarely disappoints. Sunday's game is must-see TV from Presque Isle to Parsippany. It'll be a doozy.
Bart Scott - take it away:
We'll update the rankings each Saturday during the season. Remember, these are for entertainment purposes only. Teams are listed with record and last week's ranking.
1. Falcons (6-0; 2): The champagne at Shula's 347 Grill and steak house remains on ice for another week.
2. Texans (5-1; 1): Wake-up call delivered by Packers, who also gave the Patriots a nice blueprint for their game against the Texans on Dec. 10. Should bounce back this week, even though they're playing the Ravens.
3. Giants (4-2; 8): The 49ers might want to permanently remove the Giants from their schedule, too.
4. Ravens (5-1; 4): Ray Lewis is done for the year and possibly for good. When it comes to his commenting on his NFL legacy, I'll just cop a plea and call it even.
5. 49ers: (5-2; 3) Quickly righted the ship with a 13-6 victory over the invincible-for-four-days Seahawks Thursday night. The Niners did what New England couldn't do against Seattle - run the ball (Frank Gore had 92 yards rushing at the half and 182 yards from scrimmage overall) and play defense.
6. Vikings (4-2; 9): Vikings should dominate Arizona at home this week with running and defense. If only we could see that in New England.
7. Bears (4-1; 8): Jay Culter has been ripped by the likes of Terry Bradshaw and Phil Simms this season. And we thought they only hated on Brady.
8. Cardinals (4-2; 5): Mirage in the desert continues to fade.
9. Seahawks (4-3; 13): This parody tweet was too good to pass up after Thursday's loss:
Hey @rsherman_25 you lost. You mad bro?— Tom Bradys' Ego (@TomBradysEgo) October 19, 2012
10. Patriots (3-3; 6):Of all 11 3-3 teams in the NFL, the Patriots are certainly one of them and a rank a season-low No. 10 this week. They're either seven points away from being 6-0 (do the math) or in the twilight of Brady and Belichick's career - or both. This week, they're at the top of the 3-3 heap.
11. Packers (3-3; 19): Aaron Rodgers and the Packers put on a devastating no-huddle display against the Texans Monday night. If this keeps up, they might have a shot to win the NFC North.
12, Broncos (3-3; 16): Peyton Manning needs to do something about that giant purple mark on his forehead. Monday night's comeback from 24 points down against the Chargers make even make the cut in the Manning Family 2012 Christmas Letter.
13. Redskins (3-3; 20): The Redskins were fined $20,000 this week for not being upfront about a concussion suffered by RGIII earlier in the season. If coaches were fined every time they misled fans and opponents about injuries, Belichick would be bankrupt.
14. Dolphins (3-3; 14): Tied for first after six weeks.
15. Jets (3-3; 21): Shonn Greene ran for a career-high 161 yards against Indy and spent this week dodging questions about Tebow being a running back. And we thought the Red Sox were screwed up?
16. Cowboys (2-3; 17): "Big Tex" went up in flames on Friday. The Cowboys' season will go down in flames with a loss at Carolina this week.
17. Eagles (3-3; 10): Mike Vick couldn't even get a "vote of confidence" from Andy Reid this week. Meanwhile, his new dog still loves him just as much.
18. Rams (3-3; 11): Face Green Bay in one of three games this week involving two 3-3 teams. Trying saying that five times fast.
19. Chargers (3-3; 12): Allowed 17 unanswered points to close loss at New Orleans and then 35 unanswered points Monday night's loss the Broncos - never mind the six Philip Rivers turnovers. This week's response from the team's public relations director: "Take a chill pill." How hasn't this guy ended up on the Red Sox?
20. Bengals (3-3; 15): Play host to the Steelers Sunday night. Only two folks more desperate for win in Ohio these days are President Obama and Mitt Romney.
21. Colts (2-3; 18): Andrew Luck and Brandon Weeden last met in the Fiesta Bowl in January, as Weeden and Oklahoma State beat Stanford 41-38 in overtime. No one will watch this week's matchup, either.
22. Titans (2-4; 22): Matt Hasselbeck vs. Ryan Fitzpatrick meet Sunday in the NFL version of the Beanpot.
23. Steelers (2-3; 23): Among the top three most desperate 3-3 teams, along with New England and Green Bay.
24: Lions (2-3; 24): Hope they show the class Monday Night Football clip of the late Alex Karras referring to Otis Sistrunk being from the "University of Mars" during the telecast.
25. Bills (3-3; 25): Tied for last in the AFC East.
26. Buccaneers (2-3; 26): Will wear Creamsicle-colored throw-back unis this week against the Saints, the same colors they wore during their epic 26-game losing streak that ended 35 years ago in December against, you guessed it, the Saints.
27. Saints (1-4; 27): Hoping the Bucs will change uniforms.
28. Chiefs (1-5; 28): "In Bill We Trust." In his ex-assistants, not so much. Scott Pioli and Romeo Crennel could sure use some Hoodie about now.
29. Panthers (1-4; 29): Cam Newton vs. Tony Romo. Over/under is 40 - turnovers.
30. Raiders (1-4; 30): Played just well enough to lose to Atlanta. No style points in this league.
31. Browns (1-5; 31): Paul Ryan mistook Colt McCoy for Weeden during a visit to Browns' practice this week. Browns fans have been mistaking both for quarterbacks all season.
32. Jaguars (1-4; 32): Flags fly at half-staff Sunday in Jacksonville as Jaguars come off a bye week.
As always, let us know what you think. Post your thoughts here, on our Obnoxious Boston Fan Facebook page or e-mail me email@example.com. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter @realOBF.
The author is solely responsible for the content.