CVS still willing to support your unhealthy lifestyle

CVS Caremark Corp. announced this morning that the chain’s more than 7,600 stores will no longer carry any tobacco products, effective October 1st. CEO Larry Merlo explained the decision, saying the company had “come to the conclusion that cigarettes have no place in a setting where health care is being delivered.”

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President Obama, who smoked cigarettes on a regular basis until approximately 2013, said CVS’ decision sets “a powerful example.” But if you’re a loyal CVS customer still determined to live an unhealthy lifestyle, don’t worry!

As of this morning, CVS stores still carry a vast array of non-tobacco products that are really pretty terrible for you. And no plans have been announced to stop carrying these items.

Sodium is bad for you.

Saturated fats are bad for you.

Soda is bad for you.

Caffeine is bad for you.

Sugar is bad for you.

Bug spray with DEET is bad for you.

Reading about the Kardashians is bad for you. (There’s no scientific evidence to back this up, but I promise it’s true.)

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