1. Death penalty. A decision from US Attorney General Eric Holder came a day early. Prosecutors will seek the death penalty against accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. What we still don’t know is exactly when the trial will take place, or whether Tsarnaev’s defense team will seek a change of venue.
2. Rich people. Just after we learned that the Harvard endowment now exceeds $32 billion, we learn that there’s a scandal involving Harvard, a forest, a Romanian, and a whole lot of money. Rich people are FREAKING OUT. It might be time to just pass some kind of law banning anyone from comparing anything to the Holocaust, or making up cute headlines that involve using words associated with the Holocaust. Just a thought.
3. Today in politics. Hillary Clinton hasn’t said whether she is running for president. But either way, she’s already the biggest front-runner ever. The Republican National Committee is not OK with a recent MSNBC tweet. So they’re boycotting the network that they probably never watched anyway. A proposal has been made to rename South Station after former governor Michael Dukakis. And if you think about it, “The Governor Michael S. Dukakis Transportation Center at South Station” really is a lot catchier than just “South Station.” And speaking of transportation, could Boston hosting the 2024 Olympics be the only way to save the MBTA? Mayor Marty Walsh released some Cabinet news, in chart form.
4. Growing up online. It’s almost time to celebrate a full decade of stalking people you knew when you were in seventh grade but haven’t spoken to since then. Facebook is about to turn 10. TEN! Here’s an interview with Mark Zuckerberg on the company he founded. Check out what Facebook looked like in olden times, a.k.a. 2004. You know what teens today want? They want fame. Adidas knows it, and they’re milking it for all it’s worth.
5. Also … Jamaica Plain is the Williamsburg of Boston, according to Gawker. But what does that mean? An explanation, by me. Today in New York Times trend stories (that may or may not represent actual trends), we learn that women are going back to, well, a less landscaped look. Experts say there’s some kind of caffeine disorder. Uber is set to expand its reach, and its surge pricing, to the North Shore. Someone stole a pope’s blood, which is the most bizarre religious theft since someone stole Jesus’ foreskin. Whoever was responsible for writing the closed captioning script for this TV newscast messed up. But actually, it’s also kind of accurate, in a sense. It turns out, most reality shows are staged. You know that great little feature that gives you a nice, toasty warm seat in your Toyota? There’s some indication it could also erupt into flames.
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