1. Mackle-what? The Grammys were last night. For many of us (myself included), watching the Grammys is just a long series of “Wait, who’s that?” followed by trying to figure out how to spell Macklemore, then Googling him and feeling old and confused. If you missed the whole thing, don’t worry. You can check out the best performances. There were a lot of weird moments, but here are the weirdest. Also, Pharrell’s hat was a big deal.

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2. Bad behavior. The most expensive Olympic games are also looking like they will be the most corrupt. Vladimir Putin’s biggest political opponent is tackling the overwhelming task of uncovering corruption in Sochi. Here are the most glaring examples. (And here’s Putin, just as you’ve always wanted to see him.) Wish you had more Twitter followers? Try getting arrested. Justin Bieber got 34,456 new Twitter followers after his arrest last week. Who loves sex, bribes and vodka? I mean, besides me. Military brass, apparently. Uber continues its reputation for being shady, in addition to being super convenient. And Bank of America is reportedly under investigation for one of the oldest tricks in the very, very lengthy book of ways finance people manage to break the law.

3. Kids today. Today in reasons to be glad you don’t live in Manhattan: private school parents are spying on each other. If you choose to have only one child, you will hear about it. Endlessly. Here’s hoping the kid you do have ends up being the kind of teenager to come up with an idea like this.

4. The news is in the news. Washington Post wunderkind Ezra Klein is taking his prodigious talents to “Project X.” Last week, Glenn Beck apologized for tearing the country apart. But one TV critic isn’t forgiving Beck, and says he shouldn’t be allowed on mainstream TV. Frank Rich on why the only thing dumber than Fox News itself is reacting to dumb things said on Fox News. The New York Times isn’t sure about this whole ‘longform’ trend. But here’s a defense of longform. In longform! The man with the greatest business card of all time is vying to be the next owner of the New York Times.

5. Also. Need a not-super-helpful primer on Bridgegate? (This is very ChartGirl circa 2012 .) Remember that whole thing where North Korean leader Kim Jong-un had his uncle executed? Well, a new report says he also ordered the executions of his uncle’s family. Someone made a pretty, pretty, pretty good compilation of Larry David’s greatest insults. Netflix released its much-discussed documentary, MITT, on Friday afternoon. People loved it. People hated it. Here’s the most important six-second clip to watch, courtesy of me. Next time you’re about to whine about New England weather, here’s what snow-covered trees look like near the Arctic Circle.

Five@Five is a new feature that you can expect on this blog every weekday at 5 p.m.

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