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Bubble trouble

CAN THERE be anything dumber than the ritual celebrations in the locker rooms of professional sports teams as supposedly grown men spray each other with champagne ("Bubbling over," Sports, Sept. 29)? This time of year, we see baseball teams celebrating championships by dousing each other with perfectly good champagne. What will they do next, throw caviar at each other?

I would like to suggest that the owners of professional teams stock their locker rooms with 1-liter bottles of club soda. The players could then squirt this bargain-priced bubbly at each other, and the owners could contribute the money saved on alcohol to send food and water to the people of Somalia and the many other international sites of famine.


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