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Cheryl Yeoh's response to 'The End of Courtship'

Posted by Karyn Polewaczyk  February 6, 2013 02:00 PM

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Last week, I wrote a response to a New York Times' article, The End of Courtship, and aptly called mine An Encore For Courtship. In it, I heralded interviewee Cheryl Yeoh, whose "Not going to settle for less than I deserve" attitude struck me as refreshing. Yeoh, in return, came across my post—thanks, Google robots!—and shared the response she posted to her personal blog. I've included a link to her reply, and summarized a few of her talking points:

•Women generally prefer men who are considerate and thoughtful than those who try to impress them with material objects.

•It's all about respect: if a man takes a woman out on a nice date, she should thank him and show appreciation, even if she's not interested in going out again. Don't cancel dates at the 11th hour, either.

•It's best to be honest about your feelings early on.

•There's no such thing as a perfect catch, but you should identify what your "dealbreakers" are.

The point I liked the best, which I can most certainly relate to—and I'm sure other women can, too—is this, which I'll quote directly:

"Believe it or not, I’d actually encourage more casual interactions at the beginning of the courting phase: coffee dates, group hangouts, drop ins, etc. They’re all totally valid and fine! But once there’s a clear indication that one (or both) parties, wants to explore something more meaningful, then the guy should make the effort to ask the girl out on a real date. This is the phase where I don’t compromise and will almost never accept last minute texts that sound like this “Hey beautiful. Private dance party at my place. No special attire required.” (actual text I received in Oct 2012) I immediately moved him to my “was promising before but now a loser” list."

This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.

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About this blog

Karyn Polewaczyk lives and writes in Boston, and believes that heading out into that good night, like any adventure, begins with the first step. Let's Go Out is a conversation about dating and nightlife in our notoriously chilly city, with first-hand tips from the trenches. Karyn's writing, which focuses largely on women's lifestyle topics, has appeared in the Weekly Dig, Jezebel, xoJane, Northshore Magazine and, among others. Follow her on Twitter at @KarynPolewaczyk.

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