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Be good parents: brainwash

Posted by Kip Durney  January 17, 2014 12:51 PM

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As parents, it is our job to protect, educate, and provide the tools necessary for our children in order for them to thrive and develop their own ideas, desires, and opinions. We do what we can to not just give the answers they so desperately seek, but rather to provide them with a path to find out for themselves.

Except when it comes to football.

As good parents, it is our job to unabashedly brainwash our children into thinking - knowing - that the Patriots are the center of their world and to support and cheer for them always. And of course, to buy all the swag their allowance will afford them.

It is our job to teach them that the color blue is always better than orange. Who would willingly wear an orange shirt? Oh, that’s right. She would.


Photo courtesy of Michelle Malvey

A Confused Mom

How is a child supposed to thrive with a mom who would wear such a thing? Granted, she got the number correct but failed miserably on the color which obviously should be blue. She of course is a great mom and loves her children immensely. But when it comes to her color choices, she falls short.

Makes you wonder: did dad know about this flaw before he popped the question?

In any case, it’s these types of mixed messages sent by parents that are causing our younger generation to be so confused, so tainted, and so devoid of any sense of hope for the future. We don't want these kids to be the kind that leaves toothpaste all over the sink, pees on the seat, or wears orange.

It’s not their fault. We must help them become blue.

How is a child supposed to thrive in a family such as this?


Photo courtesy of Mike Malvey

A Divided Family

What's a kid to do? Do I go blue? Orange? Dad says blue but mom says orange and I don't want to disappoint either of them. It is this type of psychological torture that inflicts so many young innocent minds. They need our help.

Let us stand together today to put a stop to this nonsense. Let’s stand together to send a clear message that nobody should wear orange and nobody should ever have to live in a home with orange lovers.

The blue, the proud, the obnoxious and brainwashed Patriots fans of the future!! Together we stand!


Be good parents and brainwash your children.

And of course: Go Patriots!

This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.

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About Tubalub

Tubalub is written by Kip Durney who lives on the North Shore of Boston with his wife, three kids (including identical twin girls), and a very excitable yellow lab. When More »

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