Many years ago I made peace with the fact that, besides also being Armenian, I’ll probably never be able to keep up with the Kardashians.
No one paid me to get married. I did not pull my own baby out of my nether lands (thank goodness for nurses). And I actually enjoy sleeping in the same bed as my male partner for life (scary thought, Kourtney. I know.)
But this morning while watching Kimye talk pregnancy on “Good Morning America,” I couldn't help but nod at the television screen.
In a response to her Tweet that she bought flat shoes and the comments she’d been getting about wearing high heels during her pregnancy, she said this:
“Kourtney warned me when you become a mom or become pregnant, there will be this whole new group of critics that will criticize you for everything you do. I mean, if I wear one color clothes, I’m in this kind of mood. Or if I wear heels, it’s harmful.”
Then, she said this:
“My theory is, happy mommy, happy baby.”
Yours and ours too, Kimye.
She got one thing right about the pregnant Kardashians and the pregnant never-gonna-be Kardashians. Regardless of what end of the fame spectrum we women find ourselves, it seems that having a bump by default thrusts us into the spotlight. It’s inevitable. Our decisions and actions regarding ourselves and our unborn baby will at some point in our pregnancy be questioned – sometimes out loud, sometimes by a telling look by a complete stranger. These folks I call: the pregnancy paparazzi.
For once, Kim, I get you. I wore heels right up until my water broke, which was a week past my due date. And yes, I too got the, “how are you wearing such high heels?” I got a manicure during my first trimester while the stranger sitting beside me gave me the “you’re going to be a terrible mom” look. Once (or maybe twice), I walked into a Starbucks and ordered a tall regular coffee which prompted the “how could you” look. I even registered for two diaper bags instead of one. Insert the "don't be so selfish" look.
I’m not sorry.
Let’s face it. We can’t do everything “right” – whatever that means. Many of us are capable of making the right choices for ourselves without glares from the pregnancy paparazzi who only see one snapshot of our nine-month journey.
And during my pregnancy, perhaps I didn’t do right by the people who questioned my decision -- a majority of whom were ironically other young women.
What I am sorry about is the number of strangers and acquaintances who felt like my pregnancy mattered to them enough to criticize. In that respect, Kim, you and I are different. Perhaps you’re flattered. I was not.
So Kim, for once, I watched you on TV and instead of slapping my forehead and shaking my head east-west, I pointed right at you and said, “Preach.” Then, I thought about the rest of us who are working hard to have a healthy and happy pregnancy and would like to say this:
If a woman wants to wear an outfit that seems a bit snug at the risk of reduced circulation, so be it. Maybe said woman hasn’t come to terms yet that her body is changing. Maybe she has. When she feels her blood pressure drop, difficulty breathing, or even pain around the tightened areas, trust me, she’ll adjust.
If a woman wants to wear heels at the risk of loosening her pelvic floor muscles or even simply at the risk losing her balance, so be it. When she has flare-ups of her pregnancy-related edema and she can no longer stand in stilettos, trust me, she’ll adjust.
Until then, our pregnancy choices are personal.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, I only ended up getting one diaper bag. I guess the pregnancy paparazzi has one on me.
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