Tweet, tweet, baby

By Joanna Weiss
Globe Staff / April 25, 2009
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If a 5-month-old could tweet. . .

5:51 a.m. from crib

Why isn't Mommy awake?
5:53 a.m. from crib

@Mommy WAKE UP!
5:57 a.m. from crib

Mommy holding me, walking, but not talking much. Fiddling with coffee machine. Funny, she does this every morning.
6:12 a.m. from kitchen

I think I just peed.
7:01 a.m. from kitchen

Mommy says you're not supposed to put the newspaper in your mouth. So what are you supposed to do with it?
7:25 a.m. from kitchen

Oatmeal again? You've got to be kidding me.
8:12 a.m. from high chair

No! Don't wipe my face! Noooooooooo!
8:27 a.m. from high chair

Just discovered the coolest toy. Rattle shaped like red dog. I am in heaven.
10:13 a.m. from bouncy chair

I can HIT the rattle with my HAND! Whoopee!
10:15 a.m. from bouncy chair

I have never been so bored in my life.
10:16 a.m. from bouncy chair

I don't want to take a nap! I don't want to take a nap! I don't want to take a nap! I don't wa - asdl;jeklr aeriouaiew
11:12 a.m. from crib

@Mommy AWAKE!
12:03 p.m. from crib

Diaper change. Fresh air feels good. Clean feels good. Why is Mommy making that face?
12:17 p.m. from changing table

Why am I not eating RIGHT NOW?
12:32 p.m. from bedroom

Nooo! Don't strap me in! Don't strap me in! What? Oh, we're taking a walk. Hooray!
1:05 p.m. from living room

@OtherBaby You are fascinating. Truly. Will you marry me?
1:32 p.m. from stroller

@Mommy You are fascinating, too. Will you marry me?
1:39 p.m. from stroller

@Ladyonsidewalk Don't come any closer! No! Don't touch my hands! Mommy!
1:47 p.m. from stroller

Where am I? What? Did I fall asleep again?
3:05 p.m. from stroller

In bouncy chair next to window. Hanging toys. Big sister comes by every few minutes to shake me. I can live with this.
3:30 p.m. from bouncy chair

Ready to get out of the bouncy chair now.
3:34 p.m. from bouncy chair

3:35 p.m. from bouncy chair

I think I just peed.
4:12 p.m. from living room

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see? Wait, I know this. I know this. Don't tell me. I know this. Ohhh, Red Bird! Right!
4:36 p.m. from living room

Why am I not eating RIGHT NOW?
5:03 p.m. from kitchen

Daddy hands me cool new toy. Soft, shaped like some animal. I think I'm going to try to eat it.
6:08 p.m. from living room

@Daddy Throw me in the air again! Yes! Throw me in the air again!
6:41 p.m. from living room

@Daddy STOP. NOW.
6:44 p.m. from living room

Ah, bathtime. Warm water makes me nostalgic for something I can't quite remember. Suddenly I feel the urge to kick!
7:20 p.m. from bathroom

@Mommy Will you marry me? Have I asked you that before?
7:36 p.m. from bedroom

I don't want to go to bed! I don't want to go to bed! I don't want t - adyflcvuhernljlkjdfa
8:02 p.m. from crib