Some Boston-area college kids are devoting their remaining free hours between drinking coffee, getting drunk, and skimming textbooks to a cause that benefits everyone: spoof Twitter accounts. In 140 characters or less, they’re making fun of their schools and the people who go there -- all in good fun, of course.
The following are seven of Boston's best spoof college Twitter accounts. You should probably follow them immediately.
@BUSnowAlert. The BU Department of Snow and Weather isn't real, but you’ll wish it was after reading this account, which mocks New England’s insane weather and BU’s resistance to giving its students a snow day.
“Sometime in January 2011, Boston experienced a really rough batch of weather with 12-plus inches of snow,” said junior Kevin Wang, the mastermind behind the feed. “The #BU hashtag and my Twitter stream were flooded with tweets about the weather...but the administration remained silent. I saw an opportunity to jump in there and be the voice for BU --albeit a more irreverent one.”
In 36 hours, @BUSnowAlert gained over 1,200 followers. Because he’d been live-tweeting the snowstorm from his personal Twitter, Wang never really got a chance at anonymity, but he doesn’t mind being known as the man behind the alerts. While he's put the account on the back burner for now (but did tweet during Hurricane Irene), Wang said that “as long as the weather's [terrible] and I see a chance to say something about it, then I'll probably be tweeting it out.”
@BrostonCollege. Is there anything better than sports? Or backwards hats? Or Natty Lite? If you want an inside look into the mind of the broseph, updates on the big game, and complaints about yoga, look no further than @BrostonCollege. The account is one of the most followed college spoofs, and their website is even better.
Bros get a terrible rap pretty much everywhere, but these guys really aren’t so bad (and, according to a BostInnovation article, they aren’t really bros, but who’s keeping track?). They’ve used their Internet fame to promote charities like Mustaches for Kids and CEO 4 Teens.
@HarvardAsianGuy. Representing high-powered nerds everywhere, @HarvardAsianGuy spends most of his time looking down on you for your GPA and taking copious amounts of Adderall. He’s going to be the best because the competition (you) sucks.
The man behind the smugness is an anonymous, real-life Harvard Asian Guy, Class of 2012, who’s a little more realistic. “In the midst of spring midterms and junior recruiting, which is when juniors try to interview, network, and beg their way to internship offers, I realized how ridiculous the whole culture was,” he said. “So much of our happiness and perception of success is predicated on getting the best medical school, the best banking job, the highest GPA -- and this happened without any of us really realizing it. It's pretty unhealthy.”
As for the Adderall: Harvard’s gotten plenty of press for drugs (see: The New Yorker, The Onion) but real-life Harvard Asian Guy said that even though performance-enhancing drugs are disturbingly popular, most students at Harvard don’t take prescriptions to succeed.
“Personally, I like sleep too much to bother,” he said.
@HarvardHoochies. The Harvard Hoochies aren't Harvard girls: They’re the “BU biddies” that cross the river every chance they get for some final club action and to put the RUHGs (see below) to shame. Sure, they’re a little promiscuous, but it’s all in the pursuit of true love (read: a Harvard Husband). With a lot of hard work and cattiness, what started as a BBM group has earned a lot of press for scandalous behavior.
So what makes Harvard guys so much better? It’s not just their earning power. “They’re straight. They have better hygiene. Most know not to wear New Balances with jeans,” said one Hoochie, who wished to remain anonymous.
No one knows who the Hoochies are, and they’re planning to keep it that way. “The HH, in and of itself, is a final club,” the girl I spoke with told me. “We’re very secretive and will take our Hoochie identities to the grave…preferably the Mount Auburn Cemetery.”
@[ohno]imaRUHG. This account details the daily life of a "Random Ugly Harvard Girl." She isn’t invited to the best parties and spends all her time in Lamont. She tweets about food a little too often and spends a lot of energy trying to get the attention of cool kids on Twitter. If you love a good trainwreck, you’ll love this account. It's one feed that successfully makes you laugh as often as you cringe.
@WendyWellesleys. Adding a dash of all-girls-school class to the list, Wendy will gladly share the details of her WASPy garden party wardrobe and her love of Harvard boys. She wears her twinset to the Crimson football game. This account is pure pretentiousness in pearls. Like many of the others, it wasn’t very active over the summer, but recent tweets indicate that Wendy’s not done here. (Not to be confused with @WendyWellesley, which doesn’t update anymore but is also hilarious. Read and follow just in case).
@PrepBroProblems. He’s the guy you’ll love to hate. He wears his Sperrys to every class and can actually afford a Brooks Brothers suit. He went to private high school and now private college, and you can bet he’s not paying with student loans like you peasants. If you think he’s judging you, you’re absolutely right.
In actuality, the Prep Bro isn’t just one guy: It’s a group from Boston University, most of whom attend the College of Communication. “We do admit that some of our reactions are embellished,” said a representative of the Prep Bros, “[but] we assure you that we are what we represent. Our fashion suggestions are what we actually wear.”
Follow for your daily dose of pastel sweaters and snark.
Photo (top) by svartling (Flickr)
By Vanessa Formato -- Vanessa Formato is a 22-year-old Clark University graduate, freelance journalist, vegan cupcake enthusiast and video game aficionado. She blogs about body image and tweets about puppies. So awesome, even John Stamos is impressed.
The author is solely responsible for the content.