By Kenny Soto
Boston is an inspirational place: The city's fostered everything from the American Revolution to the potential Next Great American Company. There's a dessert with "Boston" in the name, a vodka inspired by our history and attitude, and a song about our river.
If you're still brainstorming the perfect costume for this year's Halloween bashes, why not let the city inspire you, too? Here are seven of our ideas.
Boston Red Sox. The “Boston Athlete” is a perennially popular costume among the lazy and undatable youth of Boston: Throw on a jersey and become Paul Pierce or Tom Brady in seconds flat. This year, however, there's a real opportunity to celebrate the collapse of the city's most beloved franchise. You’re not going to get wasted and eat too much candy; you’re just going to “stay in character.” What You Need: Red Sox hat, Red Sox jersey, athletic pants, beer, beer belly, bucket of fried chicken, Puka shell necklace.
Canvasser. Here's a really simple costume. While it may be tough to find an actual clipboard or pen -- or paper for that matter -- the key is to stay in character while asking everyone you see to “donate to the Beer Fund” or sign a petition to “get Jimmy a girlfriend.” What You Need: clipboard, backpack.
Octopi Boston. Our friends at Dewey Square have done more than just annoy our parents; they've also provided us with an excellent costume option: Simply look as smelly as possible while alternating between holding up your sign and texting on your iPhone. Don’t forget to remind people how much smarter/more in debt you are! The tentacles are optional, but they do add a nice comedic twist and may allow you to carry eight drinks at once. What You Need: tie-dye shirt, iPhone, poster board, tentacles.
Sam Adams. Another easy-to-put-together Boston costume. The benefit is that not only will most of your friends know who you are instantly, but they may also buy you a drink to match. No need to act like the real Sam Adams; just drink with your friends. What You Need: beer, vest, puffy shirt.
Real Housewife of South Boston. This NSFW YouTube video has taken Boston by storm, so if you want a timely costume, this is it. But sorry, ladies -- I'd say this one is guys only. A dude in drag with a horrible, fake Boston accent is funny. A girl dressed as herself? Not so much. You can rest assured that this is Ben Affleck's costume of choice this year. What You Need: Boston sports jersey, yoga pants, beer belly, kid carrier.
Whitey Bulger. I’m not usually a fan of the “sexy” costume, but in this case, Sexy Whitey will trump a guy in orange jumpsuit 100 percent of the time. You could also just dress up as Jack Nicholson’s character from The Departed. That’s what we think Whitey looks like anyway. What You Need: prison jumpsuit.
Faneuil Hall Bar. This is more of a group costume.
Step 1: Have a party.
Step 2: Charge a cover after 10 p.m.
Step 3: Play loud Top 40 music, or hire a Sublime cover band.
Step 4: Kick everyone out at 1:45 a.m.
Not to be confused with the Boston Celtics Lockout costume, where you tell everyone you’re having a party and then don’t show up. What You Need: an apartment (they're hard to find these days, I know).
What will you be dressed as this Halloween? Tell us in the comments, and check back to TNGG Boston all week for Halloween-themed posts!
Photo by timsackton (Flickr)
About Kenny -- I'm a professional blogger and entertainer. In my spare time, I enjoy Boston sports and exploring all of the adventures that my hometown has to offer. You can connect with me on Twitter @TheRealKennySo.
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