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Pierced

That's the spirit

Bring on the 'Jingle Bells,' with a few caveats.

By Charles P. Pierce
December 5, 2010

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Dear WSNE: I know you’ll probably get a lot of heat for having gone to your holiday-music format shortly after Halloween. But you won’t get it from me. I wouldn’t have cared if you started it at half past Labor Day. I love the long run-up to Christmas: the sudden appearance of artificial trees in the supermarket, stuffed Snoopys at the pharmacies, and radio’s annual turn to the jingliest of jingly formats. As a fan, then, allow me to propose certain recommendations to make the experience even more enjoyable. First, some songs are not holiday songs. That stupid Dan Fogelberg number, for example, although I realize that “stupid Dan Fogelberg number” is a towering redundancy. I don’t care that it has “auld lang syne” in the title. (And just by the by, what town does the singer live in where all the bars are closed, but the package stores are still open?) And “brown paper packages” doesn’t make “My Favorite Things” a Christmas song. (If you must, play John Coltrane’s version.) Second, some songs should be rationed. There is no reason to play “Dominick the Donkey” more than twice. Once on Thanksgiving night, right after the full “Alice’s Restaurant,” and then once on Christmas Eve will be fine, thanks. And I’ll make you a deal right now. I will patronize nobody but your advertisers if someone can arrange to lose all your copies of “The Christmas Shoes” until next April. Deal?

Charles P. Pierce / cpierce@globe.com

  • December 5, 2010 cover
  • Dec. 5. Magazine cover