NOTE: New entries are below this one. I'll be floating this entry at the top of the blog until the contest is over.
REMINDER: No politics! I let that Mugabe one slide, because we're all pretty much anti-Mugabe, but no U.S. politicians or political commentary. Also--hey, since you don't have to bother with meter, do pay some attention to the rhyme! Rhymes actually should.
We are going to make ourselves some poetry here, kids! July 10 is Clerihew Day, celebrating the poetic invention of Edmund Clerihew Bentley. These are the rules for a Clerihew poem:
1. They are about a person, and the first line is (usually) the name of that person.
2. There are four lines.
3. The rhyme scheme is AABB; the first two lines and the second two lines rhyme.
4. There is no meter; that is, the lines can be as long or short as you want.
Here is an example:
Never haws and hems
She gives advice
To people who want themselves and others to act nice.
(It helps on this to know my name is actually pronounced AY-brems, not AY-bra-hams.)
One for my WCRN buddy Peter Blute:
Is a commentator most astute.
He can be found on AM radio
Rapping with all the chicks and cats, daddy-o.
A clerihew about Agatha Christie:
Wrote plot lines so twisty,
Whodunit we'd never know
If it weren't for the little grey cells of Poirot.
Get the idea? Here's a good online rhyming dictionary to help you out, too.
The rules of the contest:
1. Leave your clerihews in comments.
2. Follow the proper clerihew form.
3. No clerihews about me, Mr. Improbable, or Milo (if you want to post or e-mail me some, we'd be delighted, but clerihews about the judge, her spouse, or beloved dog can't be considered for the contest for reasons of objectivity).
4. Clerihews containing sexual or political material will be disallowed. Yes, both "John McCain" and "Barack Obama" are rich in potential rhymes, but so are "Shania Twain" and "The Dalai Lama," so make it about them, okay?
5. You can enter as many clerihews as you like.
6. Clerihews will be judged on wit, accuracy, psychological perspecuity, and linguistic ingenuity.
On the evening of July 7, I will pick the top 5 clerihews. Then you can vote on the winners, right here on this blog. Voting will be open until midnight on July 10--CLERIHEW DAY! The winner will be announced on the morning of July 11.
The winner will receive Scribner's "Best American Poetry 2007" anthology (2008 isn't over yet, so that anthology hasn't come out), and no end of glory and bragging rights.
The author is solely responsible for the content.