Cupid applicants recall their worst dates ever

May 9, 2010

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Bad comb-overs. Big egos. “Forgotten” wallets. When they apply, we ask potential Cupid daters to tell us about their best and worst dates. And on the latter, we get an earful. These are a few highlights. (Names have been withheld to protect both the offenders and the offended.)

“It was a second date. Went to a nice restaurant, and the girl I was with got really sick and I had to take her to the hospital. Turned out she started to pass a kidney stone. I was planning on staying with her, but she had me leave before her husband arrived.”

“This guy got really drunk and (literally) karate-chopped a glass of red wine. The stem broke off and the wine spilled all over me. I was wearing a white shirt. It ended up being see-through. And he was my ride home. . . . I took a cab.”

“I met a man online and we exchanged e-mails for weeks. He said he was in sales. We met at a local restaurant. Something seemed off, like he wanted to tell me something. He began telling me about his work . . . with the church . . . where he is the pastor! I was confused . . . sales? He said he didn’t tell people because it made them uncomfortable. He never apologized for the lie. I told him I had to go and feed my cat. I then told him I did not have a cat, but I apologized for the lie.”

“The worst date also happened to be the best date, because I later found out she was engaged.”

“He left me watching Planet Earth to go get high.”

“Her sister came along on the date, and both of them started crying at the table.”

“He fell off his stool, threw trash on the floor, and then decided to slap my butt a few times as we bowled!”

“The night a blind date tried to take me to a strip club for drinks.”

“A guy who took me to a seance. I was caught unprepared, he was a real slug, and the seance was amateurish. I literally jumped out of his car in my driveway while it was still going and yelled out goodbye as I dashed up the stairs like I was running from a pack of wolves.”

“He got so drunk, [he] peed all over himself.”

“A blind date that actually turned out to be someone I had dated in the past . . . a girl who cheated on me.”

“Went to a family cookout, and my date’s mother did a kegstand.”

“I’ll say it was the time when my date got arrested after our first date, while he was driving me home. I had to go home in a police car.”

‘When I was trying to say goodnight, he asked me if I knew who Cookie Monster was. I replied hesitantly that I did. He countered by saying, ‘Well, I’m the kissing monster.’ ”