"I just thought if he gets up there, this is it, I'm about to die. Because I knew if he shot long enough he would find us."
KEVIN McENERY, a 19-year-old who was seated in the third row of the class attacked by a gunman at Northern Illinois University on Thursday
"I have never taken steroids or HGH."
Pitcher ROGER CLEMENS, testifying before a congressional panel that he did not take performance-enhancing drugs
"I told the truth about steroids and human growth hormone. I injected those drugs into Roger Clemens, at his direction."
Trainer BRIAN McNAMEE, in his testimony
"It's great! Low maintenance."
Governor DEVAL PATRICK, on his new, barely there haircut
"Why would we? We could be king makers."
Superdelegate JIM CAULEY of Kentucky, on endorsing Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama for president
"George Carlin had a mother who probably didn't like it, either."
PATRICIA BURNHAM, mother of Bo, a senior at St. John's Prep School whose raunchy Internet videos have earned him a gig for Comedy Central and a large online following
"It's more likely I'll dye my hair green, get a bunch of tattoos, and go on a tour with Amy Winehouse."
MIKE HUCKABEE, on speculation he will run for the Senate if he loses his bid for the Republican presidential nomination