Dude, do you know who was the most useful judge on "American Idol" tonight? Dude, I think it was Randy, dude. More than once, he made interesting, meaningful points that had nothing to do with keeping it real or singing the phone book -- as when he pinpointed Kris Allen's uncharacteristic mistake, an arrangement of "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" that empahsized the horns over the singer. Or when he told Scott that the trouble with his song was that everything was just OK. (Actually, everything was less than OK, but Randy still did the best job of summing Scott up: he's so screamingly mediocre that he just has no place on that stage.)
Dude, do you know what I thought of this week's songs-from-the-year-you-were born showcase? Dude, it was mostly underwhelming -- even when the singing was decent. Anoop sounded nice on "True Colors," but he has yet to wow me, and the stylists clearly don't know what to do with him; he's gone from Star Trek to Revenge of the Nerds. Danny was competent, but dull and kind of lounge-y, and I don't understand why the judges showered him with praise. Lil was working far too hard to do a spot-on impression of Tina Turner, and failing on all fronts. Matt also turned in a good vocal performance, but I can't shake the notion that he was doing Justin Timberlake doing Stevie Wonder -- and as Timberlake, he's second-rate. Allison was good, though. And I like her much more than Simon does.
And dude, do you know what makes me angry tonight, dude? Dude, it's that the live show ran seven minutes late, and my DVR was only programmed to record an extra four minutes, so I MISSED ALMOST ALL OF ADAM LAMBERT'S TAKE ON TEARS FOR FEARS, WHICH APPARENTLY DREW A STANDING OVATION FROM SIMON. Caught the beginning, which was lovely and falsetto. Will download from iTunes. Am sending angry telepathic vibes to Fox. Maybe if we hadn't had to watch so many dull video packages about how the contestants liked to sing when they were toddlers...or if Ryan had made one fewer joke about Simon's hotness...or if we still had three judges instead of four...
Edited to add: I've seen it now. And I'm not at all surprised to be saying that Simon was right. It was haunting and mesmerizing and, as usual, made everybody else look like an amateur.
So who's in trouble? I'd say Lil, Scott, and Matt (despite the judges' love). But I could be wrong. Tell me your thoughts in the comments, gush about Adam on my behalf, and then join me here tomorrow at 10 a.m. for our weekly "Idol" chat!