Paris Hilton At Harvard?

[WHOOPS: A Harvard Lampoon staffer called in to tell us that Paris is coming to make a special announcement on Feb. 6. (He wouldn't say what that announcement will be, only that she's not getting the Hasty Pudding Award, as far as he knows.

Also, at this point, we've ruled out Paris receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, Livingston Award, or the Charles Martin Duke Lifeline Earthquake Engineering Award.]

If it is true - as we should assume having read in today's Globe about Paris Hilton's February trip - we are in for a treat. Maybe it makes sense to give the hotel heiress the Hasty Pudding Award. But it also raises so many questions. Will she get the joke? Will Britney or Lindsay show up? Will she read excerpts from the jailhouse diary? Who is going to drive her to the proceedings, because I can't imagine she's going to understand how to swing around Harvard Square.

And please, will somebody make sure Paris is fully dressed?