Quick: What do these people have in common: the guy who played the high school principal in "Back to the Future," the professional wrestler Awesome Kong, and the guy who played the Hoth rebel officer in "The Empire Strikes Back"? (Aside from the fact that you couldn't come up with their real names if your life depended on it.) Answer: They will all appear at the Boston Super Megafest this weekend.
Don't worry. If you're sort of normal, you may not be familiar with the Boston Super Megafest. If that's the case, here's a handy guide:
What is the Boston Super Megafest?
It's a two-day gathering at which all sorts of B- and C-level celebrities will gather, sign autographs, and let you look at them. People like Linda Blair, who starred as a possessed child in "The Exorcist" and more recently ... uh ... hmm ... well, she played a possessed child in "The Exorcist." And Marina Sirtis, who played somebody or other in "Star Trek: Next Generation." And Peter Tork of the Monkees, who was really good at lip-synching.
I'm sold. How do I buy tickets?
Wait, we haven't told you the best part: The car from "Back to the Future" will be there!
Holy cow! I am overly excited now.
Yes, we thought you would be. You will actually be able to sit in the DeLorean and look at the flux capacitor up close!
You are pulling my leg. You had better not be teasing me.
We would not. And Chrostopher Lloyd will be there too, so you can maybe ask him how the whole time-traveling thing worked, because we never really understood that flux capacitor business.
OK. By the way, will there be any, say, speed dating events?
Funny you should ask. There will in fact be something called "Star Wars Speed Dating Strikes Back!" Let me quote the description from the website, because it's priceless. It says: "If you are tired of flying Solo at con's or your love life feels like it is frozen in carbonite, then we have the answer for you! Star Wars Speed Dating! 25 dates in less than a parsec, faster than Millenium Falcon!" Just imagine the potential partners you will meet!
Seriously, it says that?
Hold on. ... Man, that's a long website. It scrolls on forever. I actually had to lie on the floor to read the stuff at the bottom. Anyway, I noticed on there that there are several VIP parties. How do I get in?
If you had read it, you would have noticed that only people who visit the website are invited to the VIP events.
Ah, got it. So, anything else?
World Wrestling Federation announcer Howard Finkel will be there. Also, anyone who attends the Boston Super Megafest in full costume will get a free 30th anniversary "Empire Strikes Back" Yoda patch.
Sweet. I have the Ewok patch, the Wookiee patch, and the Jabba the Hut patch. I think my brother stole my Lando Calrissian patch; I'm going to hit him when I get home.
OK. So where in Boston is this Super Megafest?
Well, here's the thing. It's in Framingham.
Then why -- ?
No idea. Anyhow, it's at the Sheraton Framingham Hotel.
Mapquest it or something. Here, sheesh.
How much does a ticket cost?
$22 for adults, $6 for children under 12.
So if I have two adults and two children in my family, how much would that be?
How much would it be for one adult and two children?
What time is this Super Megafest?
10:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, 10:30 to 5 on Sunday
Really? It ends that early? I really wanted to party at night with the Hoth rebel officer.
No. You don't. Anyway, if you plan on spending the whole day there, your mom will probably want you home for dinner.