1st Base: Jack Elliot "Mr. Baseball" (1992) Playoff beards are over! We need playoff mustaches. Big, wooly, Magnum p.i.-style mustaches. Yeah, Jack Elliot is well past his prime and he somehow can't figure out how a Japanese urinal works, but after clocking his own interpreter, Elliot rallied the hapless Nagoya Chunichi Dragons to winning the pennant. Every club needs some veteran leadership and I envision Elliot providing the same spark that late-era Reggie Jackson gave to the Yankees or Kurt Warner gave to the '08 Arizona Cardinals. Besides, he refers to sushi as "bait" and teaches his teammates the hokey pokey. What a borderline xenophobic cut-up!