A selection of Phyllis Diller's comic quotes
A selection of comic lines from Phyllis Diller, who died Monday at age 95:
-- "I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo."
-- "I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?' "
-- "When I told Fang I was going to have my face lifted, he said, `Who'd steal it?'"
-- "You know you're old when your walker has an airbag."
-- "I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody."
-- "I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband."
-- "My vanity table is a Black & Decker workbench."
-- "The only thing domestic about me is I was born in this country."
-- "They say housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"
-- "I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions."
-- "Think of me as a sex symbol for men who just don't give a damn."
-- "The best contraceptive for old people is nudity."
-- And actor Dylan McDermott shares this line via Twitter: "One time (Diller) came over with a 70-year-old guy. Told me she was `robbing the cradle.'"