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Secretary of State Dennis Rodman screams at CNN from North Korea

Posted by Scott Kearnan  January 7, 2014 02:31 PM

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Does anyone understand?? Does anyone understand??

Evidently, CNN's New Day host Chris Cuomo does not understand. Basketball star, Celebrity Apprentice darling and one-time Madonna beau Dennis Rodman is in the middle of repairing global relations with North Korea with the help of ten guys — TEN GUYS! — some of whose names he may recall. He will do this by sharing the international language of basketball at next week's very special birthday game for dictator Kim Jong-un, whom Rodman fondly calls his "friend." (Who will win? Tune in to the state-run news to find out!) And Cuomo? All he wants to do, as he hides like Rapunzel up in his ivory tower of pansy microphones and whatnots, is talk about North Korea's horrifying history of human rights violations, last month's execution of Jong-un's once powerful uncle, and the continued detainment of Kenneth Bae, an American Christian missionary serving 15 years of hard labor over a sketchy conviction that he was plotting to overthrow the North Korean government. (The White House has been calling for his release.)

So what does Rodman do? He unleashes a can of grade-A, 100-percent certified Come-At-Me-Bro. Watch.

Highlights include: the Red Sox cap (naturally), the delicate cherry blossom wallpaper, Rodman's insistence to his more lucid teammates that he's "got this!" and the no-you-don't-please-stop shoulder rubs that result, more delicate cherry blossom wallpaper, and the hushed, reverent tone he takes at 2:20, when he goes from EATING YOUR FACE to sounding like an audiobook about the value of Kundalini meditation.

"Basketball diplomacy." Cool.

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About this blog

Scott Kearnan (@thewritestuffSK) is a Boston-based writer, editor, and communications consultant focusing on lifestyle and Arts & Entertainment. He's also a part-time smart aleck and buffalo wing connoisseur. "Media Remix" is where couch potatoes meet pop culture criticism. More »

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